Tuesday, 26 March 2013

True Confessions: Don't Piss Me Off or I May Be Forced to Kill You In A Book

This past weekend meant a visit from my beloved Mother-In-Law, hereinafter to be referred to as "The Bitch". Honestly, my hubby is lucky I love him because his mother is enough to drive anyone round the bend.

Me after The Bitch left my house.
Image from www.freedigitalphotos.net

She's hated me from the start. I think the first thing I did wrong was sleeping in that weekend - the first one I'd had off in months when I was working 16 hour days at two jobs. It went downhill from there. The Bitch is a yeller. She yells about everything. In my family, yelling only happened if there was serious trouble. She yelled if a coat didn't get hung up.

Since then, The Bitch has become much more passive-aggressive. "Well, if you want to do it that way, fine." And she has all kinds ways of getting under my skin. She criticizes my housekeeping, my parenting abilities, my lack of willingness to serve 7 vegetables with Christmas dinner. If I do it, it's wrong. She doesn't say it directly. But here's an example: My son had finished with his dinner and was annoyed at being made to stay at the table watching everyone else eat (something I personally don't understand). She says, "You sit right there until we excuse you. Grandma has rules."

See what The Bitch did there? The subtext came through loud and clear. "Mommy and Daddy don't have any rules."

Now that I'm writing a lot more, I'm trying to think of ways to include her in a book. Especially if it means I can kill her off. Does that make me a bad person? Probably better to figure it out on paper than to actually act on it I think. The only problem is, she's so ridiculous, it seems like a bad cliche.

But aside from providing writing fodder, there is one other good thing about The Bitch. She lives 400 miles away and doesn't drive. :)

1 comment:

  1. Ha Ha I laughed so hard when I read your comment. I feel the same the way about my fiance's mother and yet every holiday we have to go see them T.T She's not so much a yeller as she is good with the passive aggressive stuff. My mom's the yeller so between both our parents, we're screwed. Needless to say we do not have them over at the same time! I'm hoping we can move far enough away soon to where we don't have to see them but maybe once a year. Does that make me a bad person? Lol