Sinful Sunday: Lynn Tyler

It's my pleasure to welcome a fellow Ontarian and a damn fine writer to my blog. Lynn Tyler lives a few igloos over, though road travel can be difficult so we prefer to communicate via the internet. She's got a new release coming up with all kinds of wicked behaviour! Men having sex with men, a woman having sex with two men, and all of this without the sanctity of marriage! Gasp! Read on for a taste of Their Rebel Mate.

Chief of Communications Kerek and his mate, Ambassador Thantos are tasked with educating humans on Helan culture. It's not an easy job considering there is a movement dedicated to making sure that no female mates with Helan males.

Kim McManus is determined to  keep as many human women from being forced to mate the Helan males as possible. So what if the Helans have made mating with them voluntary? The Helans history of telling half truths makes them suspicious in her books. Suspicious enough that she hijacks a television signal to plead her case.

When she's given a chance to stay on the Helan star ship for a month to learn about their culture, she grabs it with both hands. But what happens when she ends up bonded with Thantos and Kerek, two of the very males she's been campaigning so hard against?

Excerpt

She tried counting sheep. Fail. She tried picturing a serene lake. Fail. She tried some deep breathing relaxation exercises. Epic fail.

In fact, the only thing she could see behind her closed lids was a whole lot of golden skin, tangled limbs, and hard cocks.

What would it be like to be in bed with so much masculinity? Her back arched at the sudden thought, and a rush of moisture gathered to coat the folds of her pussy.

Her clit throbbed, practically begging for attention, and the sounds of pleasure, getting increasingly louder and more frequent, were not helping. Flopping back on the mattress, she slid her hand down her belly until the very tips of her fingers rested just above her mound.

Did she dare?

“Kerek!” Thantos cried out for his lover, and Kim threw caution to the wind.

Fuck it. It wasn’t not like they were going to hear her own soft gasps through the noise Thantos was making. As if it had a mind of its own, Kim’s hand slipped the rest of the way down, and her index finger brushed over her straining clit.

A groan worked its way up her throat, and she applied even more pressure to the swollen little nub. Dear god, nothing had ever felt so good before. Not even her favorite purple vibrator on its highest setting gave her half as much pleasure as her single finger.

Was it something in the water? Okay, cancel that. She hadn’t had any water to drink. Something in the food then?

Whatever. All that really mattered was getting off right now.

Her pleasure ratcheted up higher, and she sped up the movements of her finger, stroking her clit in small, concentric circles in her effort to relieve some of the pressure that was building up inside her.

She groaned again, partly from pleasure and partly from frustration. None of the usual tricks were working, and her heart was racing faster than normal. Was it possible that her heart could beat fast enough to pound right out of her chest? God, she hoped her rib cage was strong enough to contain her heart because she was pretty sure her heart was about to explode.

“What the devil is going on here?” Kerek roared, breaking her out of the trance she had been in.

She jerked her hand back and blushed to the roots of her hair. “What are you doing out here?” she asked, pushing herself up and out of the bed so fast, she almost toppled over.

Kerek’s chest was pumping as he breathed, his huge cock pulsing rhythmically. “What have you done to Thantos?” he shouted, advancing on her with rage in his eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she shouted right back.

Now that the bedroom door was open, Kim could hear Thantos’s desperate whimpers. “What are you doing to him?” she demanded, storming over to the door and peeking around Kerek’s massive body.

The sight that met her eyes took her breath away.

Thantos’s wrists were trapped by some sort of cuffs, which were attached to a ring in the wall. His head was tossing on the pillow, his long red hair spread out dramatically on the crisp white sheets.

Her eyes travelled farther down Thantos’s body, taking in the nipple clamps that seemed to be vibrating, and the black plug his spread, bent legs displayed.

His dick was leaking steadily, and if the pool of fluid collecting on his lower belly was any indication, it had been for some time now.

The expression on Thantos’s face was far from serene. He looked tormented. “Help him,” she said, rushing over to him.

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been trying to do?” Kerek bellowed. “I’ve been trying to relieve some of his need, but he can’t orgasm. Why is that?”

She would have shrugged, but Thantos’s earlier words came back to her. Helan mates are highly sexual and feel the need to orgasm several times a day. Bonded mates can’t find satisfaction without their mate. “He needs you to come before he can, right?”

Kerek blew out a sigh that sounded like pure frustration. “Yes, but the kicker is I need him to come as well. Bonded mates tend to have simultaneous orgasms.”

She failed to understand the problem. Kerek was hard as a rock, and the head of his dick was shiny with his own pre-cum. He looked like a single firm stroke could send him flying. “So just let go and come. He’ll follow you right over.”

“Shit, you just aren’t getting it.” Kerek ran both of his hands through his hair. At least he didn’t seem quite so enraged. “I saw what you were doing. You looked just as unsuccessful at finding your release as well. Somehow, I think you and Thantos have started to bond.”

No, that couldn’t be right. Except when she thought about it, she had realized that there was absolutely nothing she could have done to force her orgasm. Even now, despite her confrontation with Kerek and her confusion over what was going on, she was still as aroused as ever. More, even.

Crap. “What are we going to do about this?”

Thantos cried out, his cock jerking wildly, and he hitched his hips. The wave of pleasure rocketing through her, completely in time with Thantos’s distress, robbed her of any ability to think. It was so strong, she had to grab on to something solid to keep herself upright.

Her palms met skin, and she briefly understood that she was clinging Kerek’s arm before another wave of pleasure threatened to wash her away.

The need was too much, and it was so far past eager anticipation that she was very nearly in pain. Poor Thantos looked like he was about to die if he didn’t find his release soon.

A third wave of need buffeted against her, and she was vaguely aware that Kerek’s knees buckled under the onslaught. “You are going to join us and give Thantos the relief he needs.”

She was barely on her feet, relying completely on Kerek to keep her upright, and he was barely able to support himself, let alone her. A tiny part of her brain, way in the very back, screamed at her that if she went along with this, there would be no going back. Something massive was about to go down, something that was about to change her life forever.

Whew! Is it hot in here? I think the snow is starting to melt! If you'd like to find out more about Lynn or her books, and perhaps find your own release as well, ;) check out the following links:

Website http://lynntylerbooks.com

Twitter @LynnTylerBooks

Siren Author Pate www.bookstrand.com/lynn-tyler

Buy Link: www.bookstrand.com/their-rebel-mate

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lynntylerbooks

True Confessions: Caught With His Pants Down

Recently someone on Facebook told a story about using her parents computer to check some email. And of course, she opened an email from a sex toy site as her mother walked past.

We've all had those moments when we were caught by our parents doing something we'd rather they didn't know we did. Usually we're teenagers but it does happen even after we're grown. So I thought I'd share a story about my husband and I a friend and her hubby got caught in a compromising position.

My friend and her family had moved in with her parents while waiting for their house to be finished. My friends were into swinging, and one night, her parents had gone out for their regular Saturday night card game. They didn't get home before 11pm as a rule. So my friends hooked up with another couple and invited them back home for some wine and super hot sex board games. 

My friends had a lot of fun and when they were finished, began dressing again. Now the friends lived in a basement apartment, but the only thing separating it from the upper levels was a sliding door, which was usually kept open so the dog could get to his food dish on the landing. But naturally, the friends didn't want to be interrupted by poochie, so they moved the dish and closed the door. The door which didn't have a lock.

Well, everyone was pretty much dressed again, except for the other guy. He was standing in a t-shirt and boxers when suddenly the sliding door began to open and suddenly the parental units were standing at the top of the stairs. 

Talk about wanting the ground to open up and swallow you! We made up a flimsy excuse about watching a movie and the guy showing us his Simpsons boxers. I don't think the parents believed us them. But they didn't push the issue.

Lesson? Door locks are wonderful things, and if you're going to engage in activity you don't want to be caught at, better to just go somewhere with absolutely no possibility of a walk-in!

(And now for the shameless self-promotion: The Art of Love is available on bookstrand.com (click here|) for 15% off until Feb. 28)

Sinful Sunday with Jennifer Denys

Today I am pleased to welcome the lovely Jennifer Denys. (You may remember her confession about posing for erotic photos from the beginning of December!)

Jennifer agreed to an interview on her upcoming book, Collared by Wolves, which is being released tomorrow! And oh my, does it have some salacious sinning going on!

Does your book include spanking? Oh yes! And whipping and paddling and flogging. Well, it is set in a werewolf BDSM club after all!!

How does werewolf BDSM differ from human BDSM? Ah well, that was fun to consider. Since this is not supposed to be a true portrayal of BDSM I have them having sex in public (on the floor of the main room!), they like it rougher as their skin can take it, punishments included biting and clawing – and being chained up as werewolves find this humiliating (I loved being able to turn the tables with the title of this book as it is the human and not the animal that wears the collar!!!) and they prefer to be in wolf form to have sex.

Sex! There is sex in your book? Naturally! And as this is a ménage a cinq I have various permutations including a threesome, a foursome and a fivesome.

How on earth can you have a fivesome? There aren’t enough places surely…… Ah well, actually only the heroine and one guy (a rogue alpha) has sex that time but the three beta wolves all touch, caress, fondle – and jerk off over them.

Are you saying we have interspecies sex? Only in as much as the heroine is human and the heroes are all werewolves but they only have sex in human form – or secondary characters who are both werewolf have sex in wolf form. Beastiality is such a gray area one has to be careful about showing humans having sex with animals even if they are shapeshifters.

So being animals is any of the sex outdoors? Most of the action does take place in the BDSM club called ‘The Haunt of the Wolves’ hidden away in mysterious woods, but the heroine gets kidnapped and taken to another place within the woods. But the final chapters are in a cave called ‘The Grotto’ which is where traditional mating ceremonies used to take place – you can use your imagination as to what our guys get up to in there.

Are we talking missionary or anything else? Now come on, Michelle, you write ménage as well! Oral and/or anal are a requisite!! But in addition I have characters on all fours, on their back, over a bench, sitting on a lap… I think that’s all!

Let’s get back to the BDSM, tell me more! St Andrew’s Cross, spanking bench, bondage, chained from the ceiling, tied on their back on a table, domination, submission, submissive trials, collars, nipple clamps, penis cages, ice-cubes……..

If this has piqued your interest then ‘Collared by Wolves’ is on sale from 4 February from http://www.bookstrand.com/jennifer-denys in a variety of e-book formats including PDF or from Amazon in early March.

Blurb:

Natasha Talbot, an ordinary human wanting more out of life, ventures into a forest where a club is holding submissive trials, not knowing this is where werewolves practice BDSM.

While at the club Natasha is fought over by two lots of men. Griff Seamer is an alpha werewolf with a reputation for being a rogue. He doesn’t hesitate taking on Ford Chaplin, Max Holman and Callum Lane, three beta wolves who formed a pack as a way of getting the submissive women at the club who normally prefer the alpha men.

During the fight Natasha becomes aware of their shifter natures and runs away. But is she more frightened by the BDSM or their animal aspects? Determined to try again she returns a few nights later, but when she is kidnapped by a pack who like the darker side of BDSM her four men realize they have to work together to rescue her. 

Excerpt:

Griff proceeded to lay several light taps on her bottom, moving from one side to the other, then lower near the thigh and higher up. She gasped at the first hit but didn’t say anything. After four spanks, he stopped to rub her soothingly, and then repeated it, this time harder.

She had a tendency to clench her buttocks, he noted. I’ll have to cure her of that. And then he stopped. It was very rare that he took the same sub on twice and had never had a permanent one. And now he found himself considering doing exactly that—with a human of all subs!

 Shaking his head to rid himself of these bizarre feelings, he continued, “The idea is to start off gently to get the body used to the hits. It’s not hurting, is it?”

“Um, hurting isn’t the word. Sort of getting more stingy—and hot.”

“Good. That’s how it is supposed to feel.”

He was enjoying the sight of her backside getting redder when Max returned with a paddle.

Nodding toward the girl, Griff suggested, “Show her what it looks like.”

Crouching down so she didn’t have to wrench her head around, Max held up an implement that was made of firm leather, shaped like a short cricket bat, and a lurid pink color, as if that made it any less wicked looking.

“Oh. Isn’t that going to hurt?” she asked. There was a slight tremor in her voice.

Max laughed. “Yes, but that’s the point. It is to bring out the endorphins in your body. When your body is hurting, it creates a chemical reaction to combat the pain, and it gives a feeling of euphoria. The trick is not to give you so much pain that the endorphin can’t work.”

“If—if you’re sure.”

Smiling at her, Max pressed a quick kiss to her lips to reassure her and then shrugged at Griff, who growled at his impudence.

He stood and handed Griff the paddle. A surge of wickedness went through Griff, and he whacked the paddle against his own hand. The resulting sound caused both Natasha and Max to jump and cry out. Griff smirked at Max as the other man went slightly red at his action.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to do it that hard. But because it is more inflexible than my hand, it will feel different. Are you ready, Natasha?” He deliberately used her full name, needing her to be sure this is what she wanted.

When she didn’t immediately answer, Max stepped forward to stroke her hair, brushing it away from her face so he could watch her as he spoke.

“You must answer so we know how you are feeling. If you don’t want to do this, you have your safe word.”

Griff grimaced. He didn’t want the girl using any safe word. Like most werewolves he hated them as he felt it gave the sub too much power to back out, and that wasn’t his usual style.

“I—I guess so.”

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Griff raised the paddle and started off with taps even lighter than he had before, doing a similar round of hits to those he had done previously, alternating between buttocks, stopping every few to caress the lovely—and now red—buttocks. He could see Natasha shuddering as she got used to the implement, but the lack of tenseness told him that she probably found it wasn’t as bad as she had anticipated.

Okay, so it’s time to step this up.

He began to get harder, relishing the feel of the thwack against her backside, the sound of swooshing.

But suddenly it all turned and he could see she was holding herself tightly, and Griff frowned at Max worried. Had he gone too far?

The other man bent to clasp her head in his palms. “Don’t fight it. Accept the pain. Take a deep breath. And now another. And a third. That’s it. Let your body relish the pain.”

At Max’s nod, Griff continued, not enjoying the feel of whacking her again at first until he saw she was pushing back against him, needing the hits as much as he liked giving them.

When she cried out, “Ohhh, that feels good!” he knew she was more than ready for the next step.

Dropping the paddle to the floor, he moved in between her legs and undid his trousers, quickly retrieving a condom from his pocket to wrap over his throbbing cock. Pulling her thong down, he slid into her very wet pussy. She was so aroused he went in easily, groaning as her internal muscles clamped on him.

He stood still waiting for her to relax. If she stayed this tight, he was going to come.

Natasha started panting, trying to push back against him, to make him plunge inside her.

Griff laid a quick spank on her hot butt. “Stop it. You don’t get to control this. Remember who is in charge.”

“But I need you to move.”

He exclaimed at her presumption, “Max, do something. Don’t just stand there. Shut her up. Stick your dick in her mouth. That will work.” When the other man looked at him incredulously, he encouraged him. “Go on.”

Max didn’t need asking twice, and his cock was out so fast and into the girl’s mouth even before a second had passed.

She squealed and then went quiet, and Griff had to hold back a chuckle. Well, that shut her up. It also took her attention away from him as she was no longer pressing him to move but had relaxed nicely, allowing him to start thrusting into her lovely pussy. She might not be clamping him, but she was still beautifully snug around him. There was nothing better in the world than a woman’s tight vagina.

Getting a nice rhythm going, he glanced over to the beta plunging into her mouth, taking time out from his own ministrations to study the other man. It was rare for Griff to invite someone else to join him, but Max had been helpful in more ways than one with this girl tonight.

It was really very arousing to watch the other’s cock going in and out of her mouth. He was aware of how light colored Max’s cock was compared to his darker one, but he grinned as his was much thicker, and much longer, and he felt his balls tightening as his orgasm loomed. Gripping the girl’s hips, all the while trying not to let his claws out, he started ramming her, his head going back as he yelled his climax, her own orgasm causing her internal muscles to milk him.

Sinful Sunday with Sage Marlowe

Today's guest is the hot, sexy, and talented, Sage Marlowe with some thoughts on the benefits of sin! Because let's face it, being naughty can be oh, so nice!

Hello and welcome visitors of Michelle’s blog. My name is Sage Marlowe, I’m a multi-published author of MM erotic romance and delighted to be here today.

Michelle’s Sinful Sundays are a new feature and I’m thrilled to be one of the first guests. Being the first, or one of the firsts, has its merits as there’s not much comparison, but it’s also hard because the range of possibilities is wider. Anyway, the theme is sin. Sigh. I meant to write something thoughtful, witty and funny on the topic but, when I started my research, I realised it would have to be all about the religious background because, let's face it, sin is a religious concept. Unfortunately getting Sage started on any topic that involves religion and especially on what is considered bad or wrong in the biblical sense  is never a good thing, so instead of risking to scare you off with a glorious rant, I'd rather entertain you with the good aspects of sin. 

"What, there are good aspects to sin?" I hear you ask. Well, yes. The aspects where the sinning consists of doing something that is enjoyable and not hurtful to anyone, but which is commonly considered naughty or bad, like, for instance, stealing. Sex without the purpose of reproduction. Sex before marriage. Homosexuality. Yep, all considered sins, but fortunately at least a part of our society has moved beyond that. 

All those elements are included in my new series, Romeo & Julian about an FBI agent and the cat burglar he’s chasing, so I hope that the following saucy excerpt from A Thief on Christmas Eve (Romeo & Julian 1) won’t evoke negative feelings. It might make you feel sinfully naughty, but hey, that’s good, isn’t it?

Want to find Sage? Check it out!

Sage’s website & blog: www.sage-marlowe.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/sage.marlowe0

e-mail: marlowe.sage@yahoo.co.uk

Twitter: @SageMarlowe

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/SageMarlowe

Amazon: www.amazon.com/author/sagemarlowe

For all books published with Total-E-Bound, go to: http://www.total-e-bound.com/authordetail.asp?A_ID=224

For all books published with Siren-BookStrand, go to: www.bookstrand.com/sage-marlowe

A Thief on Christmas Eve (Romeo & Julian 1) by Sage Marlowe

MM erotic romance / action / suspense

Buy link: www.bookstrand.com/a-thief-on-christmas-eve

Blurb:

When it comes to slick art thief Romeo, FBI agent Julian Harris has to realize that sometimes, to catch a thief is just the beginning.

When FBI special agent Julian Harris finally corners art thief and cat-burglar Romeo he's planning to put the man first in handcuffs and then behind bars. Instead, he finds himself first trapped in a house in the mountains by a blizzard and then captivated by Romeo's irresistible charm. One thing leads to another and after a night spent together, Julian wakes up alone with his pride bruised and his heart stolen.

Almost a year later, a twist of fate brings them back together and their mutual attraction sparks up again instantly but events take on a dynamic that could have at least one of them wind up dead. Blackmailed into a precarious break-in, Romeo has to choose between Julian's life and his own safety while all the time, there are two questions on Julian's mind: Who is this slick and sexy thief really and where does his true loyalty lie?

Adult excerpt (R)

Julian couldn’t remember ever having felt so nervous walking into a bedroom as he did just now, following Romeo. It wasn’t just anticipation and the sizzle of arousal he experienced at watching Romeo in motion, at seeing the shapely, firm buttocks in front of him shift and flex underneath their cover of tight-fitted slacks. It was far more than an illicit indulgence.

He stood to lose a lot by this. His career and reputation, potentially. He was well aware of that, and yet he couldn’t seem to make himself stop. The chances of getting caught were practically non-existent and yet—Who was he kidding? In those magically charged minutes leading up to their big moment of intimacy, Julian would’ve risked everything to be with Romeo. He was lost, powerless in the face of the temptation Romeo presented to him, and he couldn’t seem to resist the whirlwind of emotions the man stirred inside him anymore than the snow outside could resist the fierce storm that whipped it around.

Romeo had stopped in front of him. Between him and the bed. Julian swallowed, nervous. Maybe Romeo was a little nervous, too, because he hesitated for a few seconds before turning around. He was just an inch or two shorter than Julian, and had to tilt his head up slightly to be able to look him in the eyes. It was almost too dark to be able to read their expression, but Julian could have sworn that the emotions in them were genuine. Arousal, excitement, anticipation. The same emotions that were leaving him with a flurry feeling in his belly. But there was something else, too. Something he never would have expected to see in the eyes of this cool, slick criminal. Awe. Fear. Romeo’s bottom lip trembled. Could it be that in this moment, he was as insecure as Julian was?

Strangely, Romeo’s sudden reluctance and vulnerability made Julian only more determined to have him. Romeo was stripped of his haughty superiority for once and he surrendered on a purely emotional level. Leaning in, Julian kissed him, and just like that, the spell was broken.

Romeo responded to the kiss with the unconcealed hunger of a starving man. They caressed, licked, teased, sliding their tongues together as they reacquainted themselves with all the shapes and peculiarities they had only just gotten to know a few minutes earlier. It was impossible to tell who had taken the next step, but suddenly, they were on the bed. Julian would have liked to keep up the pretence Romeo had built with his words but he forced himself to pick up the handcuff that was dangling loosely from Romeo’s arm. Its twin was still locked around Romeo’s wrist and for a few agonizing heartbeats, Julian feared that Romeo would fight him. But Romeo just glanced up at him with a tender expression in his eyes and raised his arm above his head.

A faint smile curled his lips when he said, “Not that I mind a little bondage, but you might want to take off my sweater first.”

“Oh. Right.”

Julian reached down and, sliding his hands underneath the black cashmere, he pushed it up over Romeo’s belly, shoulders and head. There was a second layer of thermal underwear to remove, then Julian was staring at one of the best-shaped, smoothest-skinned male stomachs he had ever seen. Unable to resist, he lowered his head and licked a long line upward from just above Romeo’s waist across his muscular chest and his neck, over his chin and all the way to his mouth. They kissed again, and the air around them was sizzling with pent-up arousal, but Julian managed to cling on to his self-control and reached for the handcuff again.

This time he didn’t falter. He clicked it shut around the sturdy metal rail on the bed’s headboard, distractedly taking in the fortunate coincidence that the bed had a sturdy metal rail on its headboard, then he pulled his hand back and cupped Romeo’s cheek with it.

“Tell me what you like,” he whispered and gently took the tip of Romeo’s chin between his teeth.

“Just…oh, fuck me,” Romeo gasped. His voice had gone tight and he was staring up at Julian from underneath half-closed eyelids. Tilting his hips, he rubbed the hard bump at his groin against Julian’s thigh in the unmistakable search for friction. He seemed desperate, and Julian was only too happy to help ease his pressure.

He shifted down on the bed and undid Romeo’s fly, brushing a quick kiss on the tip of the swollen cock that sprang free, then he pulled the slacks over Romeo’s narrow hips and down his long, lean-muscled legs.

Romeo was breathtaking. He had the slender, graceful build of a ballet dancer and the need to have him, to explore every inch of this wonderful body, became overwhelming. Trailing his hand up one leg, Julian followed the curve of muscle to between Romeo’s thighs, then nudged them apart. He let his fingers wander higher, to that tempting, warm cleft but resisted the urge to dip into it. He’d do that later. First, he wanted to give Romeo’s eager cock some attention.

Leaning down, he kissed the tip once more. A drop of pre-cum moistened his lips and he gathered it with his tongue, savoring his lover’s unique, salty flavor. He drew a teasing circle around the slit then opened his mouth a little further, pursed his lips and brushed their moist inside to that highly sensitive patch of skin. Romeo let out a long groan as Julian started to suckle his dick gently. He tried to push up, but Julian stopped him with a hand to his stomach. Romeo let out another groan, more frustrated this time, but he obeyed and passively let Julian explore all the ways he could make him gasp, whimper and moan.

About the author

Sage is a multi-published author of gay erotic romance and loves taking romance to the edge. The edge of passion, the edge of pleasure, the edge of propriety.

Hopelessly in love with books from a very early age on, Sage has dreamt of writing one for years while working on the day job instead. It took a very persistent character in the company of a much-adored Muse to finally get the first novel going. The fact that this gorgeous guy was gay came as a bit of a surprise, but it explained a lot.

Ever since, Sage has been the willing slave to all the fascinating guys who just keep queuing up and want their stories told. This has resulted in several published books and countless manuscripts at various stages of completion, so there's always something to work on—preferably at night when the rest of the house is asleep.

Sage's characters often have a dramatic and sometimes traumatic past and need to battle some demons to be with the one they love. But don’t worry, they get quite a lot of naughty action along the way to keep them happy and there will always be a happy end!

True Confessions with Michelle Graham

Okay, I'm hijacking most of my blog space this week, but I think I deserve it because guess what?

My first book was released today!!!!!

I'm just a bit excited. Can you tell? Landing the Big Ones is now officially available. Click here to check it out!

So as a treat, I thought I'd share with you a true confession of my own. Kind of a funny one that happened recently.

The other night, after I'd finished on the computer, I crawled into bed and started feeling up my hubby. He enjoyed this and took it as the overture that it was. We kissed, and fondled, and licked, and...well you get the idea. Anyway, before we got to the main event, I was giving him an enthusiastic blow job when a pubic hair found it's way into my mouth and lodged itself near the back of my throat. Normally this would be just a minor irritant, but the thing was too far back for me to retrieve it with my finger without gagging (no I don't deep throat). So I tried a couple of discreet coughs, but the damn thing stayed put. Worse yet, it began triggering my gag reflex all on its own. Feeling it would kill the mood to puke on the bed, I bolted for the bathroom, where I proceeded to vomit. Sexy, right? The worst part was, I could still feel the hair! I think it was psychological though.

When the worst was over, I brushed my teeth and opened the bedroom door to see hubby hanging off the side of the bed, looking underneath.

"The cat's under there."

"Which one?"

"The hateful one. He was hiding in the closet and then he tried to get out, but the door was closed so he ran under here."

We wanted the cat out because the hateful cat has a habit of shitting in places we don't want him to. So I held open the bedroom door, while hubby tried to scare the cat out. No luck. Worse yet, I heard a noise from my daughter's room. I can see her bed from the door to our room and she was shifting around on the bed, looking like she was going to wake up. So I sprinted for my bed and hid under the blankets.

"What are you --"

"Shhh! The girl is waking up!"

So we lay there silently waiting to see if she was going to actually wake up and come into our room, because for some reason, ours is the only bathroom they ever want to use. A few moments had passed and I didn't hear her, so I said, "Okay I don't think she's waking up. Honey? Sweetie? Are you awake?"

And I found hubby had fallen fast asleep.  Sigh...